Dear Reader,

My name is John Finn and I, among many other things, am a person with a stutter (PWS).  As I am sure most of you know, living with a stutter certainly isn’t easy and I am grateful for the opportunity to share some of my experiences with stuttering, things I have learned over the years, and things that I wish I had known when I was younger. 

I wanted to share my story because when I was your age, I would have loved to have heard from people who stutter who have been successful in their lives not because they overcame their stutter, but in spite of (or even because of) their stutter. I spent many years feeling like stuttering was something “bad” and that I was doing something wrong, and it wasn’t until I was older that I started to realize that while stuttering was a part of me, I didn’t have to let it define or limit me.

If there is one thing I hope you take home from my story, it is that you don’t have to wait until you are fluent to do the things you want to do!  Living with a stutter has been a challenging, frustrating, amazing and rewarding thing that has made me the person I am today.  If you stutter, you are in good company!

Take care,

Johnathan (John) Finn

 

John FinnI don’t remember a specific instance where I began to stutter, I actually can’t remember a time when I didn’t stutter. My two brothers also had pretty mild stutters when they were younger, but you would not even notice that today. I am definitely the best stutterer in the family! 

I had a lot of challenges with stuttering as a child, and I really let it hold me back.  I would never answer questions in class, and always dreaded the annual public speaking requirement, where I had to give a 5-minute speech to the class. This was something that caused a lot of anxiety and emotional pain. When I was younger, I held a lot of that emotional pain inside, but sometime around grade 5 or 6 I reached a point where I just exploded and had to let all of those emotions out. I still remember spending a few days being supported by my mom and the rest of the family as I cried and raged and let it all out. 

That was one of the turning points for me where I stopped holding things in and instead would ask for help when I needed it.  Even after this, I was still very self-conscious about my stutter and saw it as something shameful that I should be embarrassed about.  I remember many nights where I would hope and pray to wake up and be “normal”.  I still remember the panic that would strike when the phone rang or when I had to order food at a restaurant.

It took many years to reach another turning point near the end of high school where I finally decided that I was tired of letting my stutter hold me back and that I could be myself, even in spite of having a stutter.

One of the frustrating things about stuttering is that it isn’t constant.  I have “good” days and “bad” days even today, and my fluency can fluctuate based on many factors. That being said, I have found that as I have gotten older my stuttering has improved.  I think it is a combination of understanding factors that affect my fluency so that I can optimize for more “good” days, and also having accepted my stutter and realizing that I don’t have to avoid stuttering to be successful.

I still remember when I first read an article about the genetics of stuttering, and how they had identified a specific gene in a family that was directly related to stuttering.  This was an eye-opening moment for me because all of a sudden, I realized that stuttering wasn’t something that I was doing wrong or that I should be blamed for, it is a complicated disorder that has a clear genetic component.  Blaming myself for stuttering would be like me blaming a person with muscular dystrophy for being in a wheelchair. It helped me have a lot more compassion for myself.

I think a lot of times people focus on the negatives of having a stutter, but looking back, I am grateful for my stutter and everything that it has taught me. I think I am a more understanding and compassionate person because of it, and it has led me on a journey of self-discovery that has helped me become the person I am today, and I like who that person is.

You don’t have to wait until you are fluent to do the things you want to do. If you want to work on your stutter, there are a lot of options! See what fits, and what doesn’t. But, at the end of the day, know that you are good enough today, regardless of whether you stutter or not.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?: I am from a small town in Canada called Milton, Ontario. I currently live in Boston, Massachusetts.  

WHAT DO YOU DO?: I am a scientist and have spent almost 25 years working in the field of gene and cell therapy, and am currently the Chief Scientific Officer of Tome Biosciences, a gene editing company focused on developing curative medicines for patients in need.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR FAMILY: I am the oldest of 5 kids and my mom is the oldest of 9, so I come from a very large family. Huge holiday gatherings at my grandparents house are one of my fondest memories! I have wife (Ariel Kraten) and two amazing kids, Abraham (11) and Aenea (6).

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES: I am a huge Sci-Fi/Fantasy fan, and you will usually find me reading epic, multi-book series (Wheel of Time, Stormlight Archive, Cradle, etc). I also like archery, playing cards (Euchre and Poker are my favorites), and am a long-time beginner guitar player!

From the Summer 2024 Magazine